I don't know for certain

If that blog was about me or not.
But I do have a feeling it was.

If it was, you know what? Fair enough. I mean, yeah, it is about time karma bit me in the ass for all i've obvs done wrong. I mean, I totally went and attacked her. Unfairly. I never tried to be friends first. No way. She was just a victim the whole way through, and she still is- because we all make postsecrets just to MAKE HER FEEL BAD. We care enough about making her feel shit to actually bother with the effort of doing something like that. She is so totally worth that. We think about her that often.

What was I on about? Oh yeah. That guy in that band. He's so totally ugly. Ew. I don't like them. Anyway, who was I on about? Oh yeah. My little friend. No, wait- i'm the short one, right? yeah. The fact that she called me short is so hurtful. It's, like, so totally a painful insult. Cuts me real deep, man. It's not just a physical fact about me. It's not just stating the obvious.

"Oi, you! T-Shirt!"

But yeah. The short thing was hurtful, but the sketty thing? That was just heart wrenching. Actually, no, in all honesty I'd never heard it before so I had to look it up. I guess I'm just uncool like that.

Fat sweaty disgusting girl who no one wants. That was the definition I found, am I anywhere near the right bit? Because she does know best. Obvz. Her opinion matters more than, like, anyone elses!

She is SO RIGHT, you know. As always, she is damn right. I'm fat. And sweaty. And she would know, seeing as she has blatantly met me and seen pictures that showed my body. Not only is she right, it totally matters. It seriously matters if I'm a little on the chubby side. That's how the world works, BLATES. Shallow is the new deep.

And it's obviously me who no one wants. Oh no, it's not like this whole feud got started off when she had a strop about me dating her ex. No way. It's not like she's the single one with... shall we say, not much experience? It's totally not like I'm the one in a relationship with someone amazing. No way.

Yeah. I just, like, really wanted to clear all this up. She is so right, and ohmygosh, I like totally deserve to be unhappy, because I so attacked her first and bullied her. She's such a victim. A victim who is obvz totally hardcore and beautiful. She must be, right, because she's the one who gets to bitch about how everyone else looks and then spout off about there being no reason to be self conscious? and she's like TOTALLY hardcore. Did you know, she's totally going to hell? with all the best stories to tell!

It isn't like she's one of those people who get drunk off half a bottle of fizzy, additive filled panda pops that's passed off as alcohol. It's not like she's one of those people who pass like, all their exams and do their work like a good little girl. It's not like she's even more virginal than Mary was. It's not like the only thing she could ever go to hell for is being a bitch.

Not at all.

Just like it's nowhere near to the truth that I read her blog for a laugh every now and then. It's totally not like I don't read her pathetic little whinges and self absorbed rants and shallow ideas and laugh my fucking face off.

No way.