Scillintate, Scillintate.

I always feel strange on thursdays. I don't mean to say I feel particularly unhappy or anything on thursdays, I'm just... strange, on this day. I start getting kind of spaced out and imagining things being different and wanting suddenly to be some sort of dress-wearing pseudo french girl who quotes placebo lyrics in conversation.

I don't really know what i'm talking about. I'm starting to realise recently that... teenage years is known to be when you start growing up a bit and learning who you are. And looking back, when I was like 11 or something I thought I knew myself perfectly well, inside out, knew how i'd behave or act in nearly any given situation. Now, most the time, I don't even know who I am. I can't really decide who the girl in the mirror is.

Not to be self absorbed or pretentious, naturally. I'm not even self deprecating, I'm just... floating. yeah, I think that's how I feel. A lot lot lot of things have happened over the last year or two and if i'm honest, a lot of them have been shit. The school year finishes tomorrow and I don't think it could have been a much worse year really, realistically.

I've also recently been told just how bad the reputation my school has around here, and... it's pretty damn bad. Apparently we're seen as the worst school in the area by all the surrounding schools... I thought Shrewsbury was meant to be bad? Apparently we're worse. Oh well. Interestingly enough, within my school, apparently my year are seen as the worst group they've had in years. They're all worried about whether or not we're going to continue their [lucky] streak of exceeding every previous years GCSE grades, too.

Oh well. So sorry if my peers and I don't manage to get you a pay rise, Mr P!

As a matter of fact, I got my report yesterday, and I am a fucking NERD. Every subject, i've been given an A as an end of year grade! Except french, (which is shit) where i got a D, and Science (where i've had to put up with the most twatty twats of twatville ever) where I'm on a C.

But overall, I think that's reasonable. I can't let myself think about Grace's of course (all A* and two As) but that's just the same as ever. It's rather good for someone who had ...70% attendance not too long ago. When I did go into school I might as well have had "FUCKOFFFUCKOFF" written on my forehead. I looked so fucking... stereotypically dykeish. I shudder to think of it. I hate it.

I've got history coursework to do. Bolloccccccccks. I reeeeeeally don't feel like it.
But if I don't do it my teacher WILL probably make me... stay late after school and finish it off tomorrow or something. Eh.

I feel bad for not doing any blogs about anything that REALLY matters to me. T_T
I will soon. :7

oh, and on another note, happy birthday to Jamie Oliver! [not the chef]
as a few people know, he is a bloke i find really inspirational, so yeah... =)