But I don't...

I don't ever want to feel like I did that day,
Take me to the place I love,
Take it all away.

Yeah. I haven't listened to the chili peppers properly in a while, too long. Under The Bridge is a beautiful song.

Talked to my parents.
I mean... really talked. And... yeah.

I'm not totally happy.
I'm not content.
I'll admit that.

There's no point pretending that things are suddenly good.
It's more like... they could be. Soon. Soonish.

In the mean time, I need to do things to ensure I won't give into that little voice in the back of my head. I'm making plans, having hopes and dreams and wishes. Because if I start to believe that I can and have to make them come true, I won't be giving up at the age of fifteen now, will I?

Things like;

-Getting a job.
-Dying my hair blonde [I know. It will look hilariously bad. But Susie dared me to, so I can't not. Hehehehe.]
-Fall Out Boy / Kids In Glass Houses.
-Getting The Blackout's new album. [Also goes for Lostprophets and KIGH, but TBO are the only ones who have announced a date.]
-GIAN. [depends on whether I can get said job or not.]
-Finishing education in this shithole.
-Writing all the stories inside my head down for them to affect others.
-Millions of cans of fanta that I haven't drunk yet.
-Millions of nights I haven't stayed awake through yet.
-Going to further education somewhere else, college, y'know? And Uni. I want to go to Uni and write many essays. I know I've only done, y'know, school essays, but I like essays. A lot.
-I'm gonna go live away somewhere. I wanted it to be Cardiff, and now I'm starting to get this slightly insane idea in my head. I quite like it though. I'm going to keep thinking about it.


Yeaah... pointless ramblings for you. ;D

The point is, i'm going to live.
I just sort of have to... push some of this shit aside, or break it down or... something.