I know we will always be moving.

You can't tell anyone everything about yourself. You have to keep some things back so that you're still you're own person. If you share all your secrets, every inner working of your heart and mind, then what have you got left for yourself?

the closer you get with someone the more you see. the more you learn in life, the more known unknowns you come to realise exist. the closer you get to someone, the more you realise you will never know how it feels to be inside their mind. you're just connected to them. to their heart. and it aches. and it takes. and you don't know what to do.

it's like... the more books i read, the more books i hear about that i haven't read. and i know i can never read all the books in the world and i'm ok with that, i'm happy with that.

but the more i know you and spend time with you the more i know you the more i know what it's like to live your life, and yet i realise more and more that i have no idea what it's like to live your life. i can't put myself in your shoes. i don't know how to help. and it's like it's killing me. like it's killing us.

it won't, because i don't intend to just let us go, but... yeah.
this shouldn't really be a blog. but it is.

i don't know what to do with us. and i don't know what to do with me. mostly i feel like i'm coming apart at the seams, but it doesn't hurt. i'm just...floating around, millions of tiny body parts all over the place. obviously i'm talking pretentious metaphorical bullshit right now. you knew that, right?

basically, i don't know who i am. that's hardly surprising though, right? teenager and all. i'm still just another one of millions, another young and arrogant face.

and i believe people i shouldn't. i believe magazines with their pictures of their thin girls. and it's all bullshit. it's wrong.

i honestly believe our entire culture has a warped view of some things, so extreme that no one can see the truth. it's like, i'm probably incredibly naive but at least i know it. just things like food and eating. "fats" are "bad" but without them we wouldn't survive. It's because we've become so incredibly warped in one way- fats and sugars being the "nicest" foods and the "treats" and our tastebuds craving that side of the spectrum. and then suddenly they're also the "Bad" ones that you only have occasionally. we're just... we're fucked. we're totally fucked. and i want there to be a way back, but i don't think there is, until everyone -and i mean
everyone cos there's no point otherwise- realises how fucked we are. and wants it to be right again.

it's not going to happen, is it? It's not the end of the world and i can't see it from here but i can see we're on our way.

could be snappier.